The Siriusly Explosive History of She and I
by Ms D Longbottom
Summary: Sirius Black and Marlene Mckinnon have been friends since they were little, but it wouldn't always be that way. This story details their explosive history of friendship, love and everything inbetween. Because in war not all is ever as it seems. Starts off with a short flash back, the rest of story goes from sixth year onwards.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well I got the inspiration to write another Sirius/Marlene story after the great response the last one got. This chapter is just a bit of a prologue. The rest of the story will go from fifth year onwards. Enjoy and please LEAVE A REVIEW! and if you haven't already don't forget to follow my tumblr. The link is on my profile.**

**Cheers Ms D**

_**Flash Back- Summer 1965 The Black Household**_

Walburga Black straightened her eldest son's tie, causing poor Sirius to almost suffocate.

"Mother!" The five year old choked.

"Sirius Orion Black, you are to be on your best behaviour this evening. There are many influential people from the are not to embarrass me, your father, or the noble house of Black. Am I understood?"Walburga said sternly.

"Yes Mother" He replied.

"Good. Now run along and play nicely with the mother children." She gave Sirius a forceful shove in the general direction of a girl his age.

He struck the girl at full force, knocking them both to the girl let out a surprised shriek as they hit the marbel floor. Fortunately for Sirius she had broken most of the fall for him.

"Sorry!" He squeaked uprighting himself and leaving the girl to dust herself off.

"You should watch where you're goin' "She huffed in reply pushing her little blonde fringe out of her face.

"I was pushed" He defended sheepishly.

"Oh... Well that's alright then. I'm Marlene McKinnon, and you are?"

"Sirius" He replied. Marlene raised her eye brows at him.

"Sirius who?" She asked.

"Sirius Black" He supplied.

"Oh so this is your house then."

"Yea it is"

"You're weird Sirius Black. But I like you anyway. Let's be friends" She held her hand out to him.

Startled and slightly confused Sirius took it and shook it as though he was a much older man greeting a buisness partner. Marlene laughed and stopped his shaking.

"I meant to hold my hand Silly" She giggled and pulled him towards the crowd of other children.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note****: Hello my loyal readers he's the first proper chapter for you. Let me know what you think. REVIEW! And if you haven't already why don't you go check me out on tumblr? **

**Ms D**

Chapter 2

_Flash Forward- Hogwarts 1976_

Sirius Black yawned and protested as his friends attempted to rouse him from his four poster bed.

"Pads, class starts in half and hour. We still haven't gone down to the great hall for breakfast. Get up ya lazy arse." Remus Lupin insisted, he received a grunt in response for his efforts.

"Just leave him be Moony. If he wants a detention first day back let him" James Potter laughed. "Come on Wormtail let's go eat"

Peter Petigrew lept off the end of his bed at the mention of food. Nothing could deter him from a hearty Hogwarts breakfast. He followed James diligently from the dorm with Remus hot on both their heels. Sirius rolled over again, shielding his face with his duvet. He had almost drifted back off to sleep when the dorm room door swung open violently. His covers were yanked of his bed and Sirius felt the chilly September air hit his chest.

"Sirius, up now! And put on a pair of pants for Merlin's sake" A female voice grumbled at him.

He opened one eye to discover that the feminine voice belonged to Marlene. He shifted his gaze down upon himself and realized he was only wearing his boxer shorts with naked witches on them.

"Don't like what you see Mckinnon?" He replied suggestively wiggling his eye brows.

She rolled her eyes and smirked at him, lobbing a pillow from Peter's bed at him.

"Up" She repeated and left the dorm.

Begrudgingly Sirius got up out of his bed and pulled on his uniform. For he knew that if he was not down stairs in the next five minutes Marlene would come back up with a pitcher full of cold water. He didn't fancy having to use drying charms on his matress and self. Too much effort.

As expected Marlene was perched on the end of the couch waiting for him when Sirius came down to the common room. He made it with a few seconds to spare. He took note of the pitcher in her hand as she set it down on a side table.

"We'll be late Black" She moaned at him as she hitched her back over one shoulder.

"You didn't have to wait for me Marls" He smiled.

"But you know I always do"

"I don't see why you bother" He replied yawning.

"Who else is going to be your personal owl? Carmen came looking for you" She sighed.

Carmen Hoyle was Sirius's on-again-off-again girlfriend, at the moment it appeared that the pair was off. Carmen was a petite Ravenclaw from the year below. She was also everything Sirius looked for physically in a women; big breasts, a firm arse and nice legs. Her personality however could use some work. Carmen like to get what she wanted and whenever she didn't she wasn't happy.

Carmen and Sirius probably argued just as much as James Potter and Lily Evans and also with just as much venom in their words. Carmen was demanding, vindictive and a serial cheat. Yet her and Sirius never split for more than a month at a time. Because even though Carmen was all of those things she still provided Sirius with what he craved; decent sex. Make up sex was probably Sirius's favourite part of the whole relationship, even if it did come with a whirl wind of drama.

Marlene couldn't count on her fingers and toes the amount of times Sirius had stormed into the common room after something to do with Carmen's tactics, whether it be a row, an episode of cheating, or just anything in general.

"What did she want? Last time I checked she broke up with me." Sirius hissed.

Anyone who was anyone knew not to question Sirius and Carmen's relationship. Unless they were willing to have their ears shredded by either party. Not even the Marauders dared to approach the subject with him any more, there was less tension if things were left unsaid. Marlene was the sole person who bothered to deal with the pair of them.

"Don't shoot the was ranting and raving banging on the portrait for a good hour. She was scaring the first years."

"Stupid cow can rant all she wants. I'm not taking her back this time." He scoffed.

But that was the classic line Sirius pulled every time they split. He always gave in again in the end. It was just a matter of how many skirts he flirted with and bedded in the mean time. Sirius Black was famous within Hogwarts as a womaniser. He didn't deny it either. Sirius knew what he liked and that was girls, sex, food and beer.

Marlene lead them both out of the portrait hole towards breakfast and took a deep breath. She had a strong feeling she would live to regret her next statement.

"What did she do this time?" She asked patiently.

"So I wanted to catch up during the holidays right? After I'd got myself settled in at the Potters so I sent her an owl"

Marlene nodded, by now it was common knowledge that at some point every summer Sirius would move in with James because of his life style at home. It was no secret that the remainder of the Black family were major blood purity fanatics. The only thing that ever seemed to surprise people was that this move had never been permanent until this past summer.

"And she turns around and says 'Sorry babe I can't. Mum's working so I gotta watch the kids', which I thought hey fair enough I know what those two can be like. So I decided to go around anyway and surprise her and help her out with her brother and sister." He rambled waving his arms about.

"I show up on her doorstep and she's not even there. Her mum has the kids and says she's gone to go visit some bloke named Michael. She gives me the address and I head on over there and how do I find her? In this blokes nap sucking on his fucking neck. He was covered in hickeys!" Sirius was furious by now to say the least.

Marlene nodded again in understanding. There wasn't much she could say really. It had all been said before. So instead she opted for putting her arm around him comfortingly and rubbing the length of his arm to his elbow. Sirius let out an agitated sigh.

"Well I hear that the house elves made the bacon extra crispy today. Just the way you like it" She tried to cheer him up. Sirius smiled.

"You heard or you went down and asked them to make a special plate?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out"

"Ah McKinnon what would I do without you?"

"I imagine you'd get lost in your own hair." She chuckled.

"Hey, hey don't go dissing the hair now. These locks are fabulous!" He mocked swinging his head to the side dramatically.

She laughed and pushed his face away from her and dropped her arm from around him as they entered the great hall together. Sirius joined the marauders and sat next to James while Marlene sat opposite him next to Lily. Who seemed to be refraining herself from hexing James who was grinning broadly at her.

No doubt there would be a famous Evans-Potter bout by the end of the day. It wouldn't be the first day back without it. For whenever did the first day of school ever run smoothly? Carmen glared at them all from the Ravenclaw table.  
While Carmen was demanding, vindictive and a serial cheat, there was one trait of hers that stood out amongst the rest; and that was jealousy. Carmen wouldn't say it publicly but she felt threatened by Marlene. While she did not despise the girl, she did not like her, especially if she was close to Sirius Black. For he was hers and hers alone. Or at least he was in her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It was beginning to look promising when Carmen still hadn't approached Sirius two weeks later. Occasionally the marauders would catch her staring over in their direction. But the second she was caught she would turn away again as if nothing had ever happened.  
Sirius seemed in brighter spirits. Although Marlene would find him sulking by himself every so often. Hogwarts life was calm and no one was overly stressed or worried. The year was still young, there was time for more trivial things later. But as everyone knows it doesn't stay that way for long.

One evening in late November Sirius was on his way back to Gryffindor tower after quidditch practise. He was tired and soaking wet and Carmen decided this would be the perfect time to strike.

"Hey Marls, have you seen Padfoot?" James asked as he approached Marlene and Lily who were lounging by the fire place.

"Not since before quidditch practise yesterday. Didn't he come back up to the castle with you?" She questioned.

"He stayed behind to put the bludgers away. He said he'd be up right after but he never came back to bed last night"

"That means he's probably in someone else's" Lily butted in wittily. James smiled.

"Nice try Evans but he always comes back to the dorm, even if it's 3am. I'm starting to worry a little actually." He replied concerned.

"James relax I'm suer he's fine. Look we'll go down to breakfast, it's only 8am on a Saturday, if he did spend the night somewhere he'll be down at the great hall by ten. If not we'll report it to McGonagal okay?" Marlene reassured him, though there was a worried tone in her voice.

James ran back up to the dorm to fetch the other boys for breakfast. Leaving Lily and Marlene to wait for them.

"Why doesn't he just check the map?" Lily asked Marlene, she swallowed.

"Map? What map?" She asked innocently, Lily rolled her eyes.

"Marlene McKinnon you're a terrible liar I can see it in your eyes. Their ruddy map. You know what I'm talking about. Don't tell me that being an 'honorary marauder' doesn't make you privy to their secrets. I've seen them crowded around it before."

"You pretend not to know a thing you hear me? I swear those lot ever found out you.." She paused "Hang on a minute. Why hasn't it been confiscated?"

"Excuse me?" Lily asked confused.

"How has the map not been confiscated if you know it exists? You haven't reported it?"

"Can't black mail them at a later date otherwise" Lily shrugged. "Plus while it is an invasion of privacy it I admit it's quite clever. Besides what's the point? They'll only make another one and get pissed off with me if I do"

"I don't believe it! You're turning a blind eye!" She squealed happily.

"What's Evans turning a blind eye to?" James asked returning to the common room with Remus and Peter.

"Non of your business Potter." She replied tartly, sending Marlene a subtle wink.

Marlene covered her mouth to keep herself from laughing. She did enjoy Lily's company, it was often a little lonely with Alice being head girl in her own dorm with her boyfriend Frank Longbottom. She understood that Alice was busy but she did miss the older girl.

A lot of people saw Lily as a teacher's pet, snobby and a goody-two shoes. But Marlene knew that was only a shield. Lily could actually be quite relaxed and humorous in her company. Marlene understood why she was like that. Lily was a muggleborn at Hogwarts in the middle of the greatest war since Grindelward, a female muggleborn at that. She had twice as much to prove that she belonged here. She couldn't be seen as weak. This was a reason why Marlene could understand her keeping ties with Severus Snape until the 'mud-blood' incident last year.

Severus Snape was Lily's only physical connection that existed in both worlds; muggle and magic. In a way Marlene supposed he was also a form of protection. Until the previous year the Slytherins had left her alone for the most part, but now they hexed her at every opportunity that presented themselves to them.

Lily needed her tough yet teachers pet exterior or she simply wouldn't survive. She didn't really ever hate James Potter either, she disliked him for sure as she didn't agree with all his morals but she saw him as a human being all the same. No matter how much he infuriated her. In fact she had once upon a time confessed to Marlene that she wouldn't mind having Potter as a friend if he toned it down a bit. The problem was that James Potter was not only a pureblood, but the last of his family blood line. Lily refused to let herself be known as a supposed 'blood tainter'.

James looked confused at the pair of sixth year girls. Remus and Peter glanced at each other and shrugged, they had no clue what was going on either.

"We going to breakfast or not Potter?"

"Yes Ma'am." He replied cheekily, bouncing back from his state of confusion.

The group of gryffindors walked in a herd down to the great hall, chatting amongst themselves. They entered the great hall together all at once. And they were greeted by the same surprise.

Sirius was sat at the Ravenclaws table, pale as a ghost with a full plate of food sat infront of him. His fingers were laced with Carmen's who was happily eating her own breakfast.

"What the fuck?" Lily breathed. No one had an answer for her.

"Come on let's eat. I'll talk to him later." James said quietly, pushing on the small of Lily's back.

She was too shocked to come up with an angry verbal reaction to James touching her. So instead she willingly allowed him to guide her towards their table. They all ate in silence looking over at Sirius. He never looked back. His eyes remained glued to his full plate.

Sirius disappeared for the rest of the day, and with him having the map there was no way of knowing where in Merlin's name he actually was. For the first time in history James and Lily went a whole day without fighting or scaling remarks. In fact Lily surprisingly was very comforting towards James throughout the whole Sirius ordeal.

Marlene was quiet and concerned. She had hoped this time that Sirius's words those many weeks ago had rung with truth but apparently not. Carmen was a parasite to him, a leech. At breakfast he had looked positively ill. Sirius Black never left a plate full of food untouched and he certainly didn't turn his back on his friends.

"Do you think he'll come back to gryffindor tower tonight?" Lily asked her. Marlene shrugged, she had no idea, for the first time Sirius was unpredictable to her.

"What would posses him to get back together with that malicious tart?" Peter piped up.

"Who knows this is Hoyle we're talking about. She always has something up her sleeve" Remus justified.

Marlene listened in on the conversation. The cogs inside her brain began to tick over and work their way around when suddenly they clicked. Her eyes widened a little at the sudden realisation.

"James... you don't think that Sirius is actually possessed do you?"

"Nah, I don't think so. But something is definitely being held over him." James sighed. Lily checked her watch.

"It's nine o'clock. Sorry guys but Remus and I really do have to go patrol. The other prefects are attempting to drive Alice and Frank bonkers." She said sympathetically. Remus stood to join her.

"We'll keep an eye out for him Prongs." He promised.

But as it turns out they wouldn't have to. For five minutes after they left Sirius entered the portrait hole. He looked tired and dishevelled. He walked straight past the lot of them and up into the boys dormitories with his shoulders slumped.

James, Peter and Marlene all made a bee-line after him but James stopped the others in their tracks.

"Let me talk to him first. Please" James said heading into the dorm alone. The other two had no choice but to retunr to the common room.

Marlene sat alone on the sofa with Peter. She really wished that Remus and Lily hadn't had to go on patrol. She liked Peter but he was a bit awkward. He was the shy guy of the group and didn't really talk much without the others around.  
She summoned a chess board from the side table and played a game against him. She won but her head wasn't in the game. She was worried and confused about Sirius. Sure he could sulk or rage whenever something bothered him but he'd never been like this, it was completely abnormal.

Remus and Lily returned from patrol around 11pm, with no sign of either James or Sirius emerging. Lily summoned some extra blankets and pillows and arranged them in front of the fire for the remaining boys. It looked like they'd been spending the night on the common room floor.

"Come on up to bed Marls. There's nothing more we can do at this stage" Lily said softly. Marlene knew she was right but still didn't feel inclined to move.

"If anything changes we'll call for you" Remus smiled tiredly.

Marlene nodded and made her way up the stairs after Lily. She changed and clambered into her bed. However no matter how hard she tried she could not sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Marlene showered early and headed down to the common room. The boys were awake but still laying on their sides in their make shift beds. James must have joined them at some stage as he was sat on the sofa, his head tilted to one side leaning against his hand.

"So?" Marlene asked sitting beside him on the sofa, he sighed.

"Nothing Marls. Absolutely nothing. I tried coaxing it out of him for hours but he just kept saying "It's not a big deal Prongs. Nothing is wrong Prongs. I'm just tired Prongs" when we all know that's bull shit. I have no idea what's wrong with him, he's never been this secretive." He replied throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

"Is he still up there?" She asked him, all the boys nodded in reply. "In that case I'm going up"

She took the stairs to the boys dorms two at a time and pushed open the door quietly. Sirius was in his four poster bed. His hanging were wide open, and he lay on his side with his back towards her. He was fully clothed, half curled up and hadn't even bothered to get beneath the covers. Marlene could tell by the way he was breathing that he was resting, but not sleeping.

She wandered over to him and stood at the end of his bed. His eyes remained shut and he didn't make any response to say that he knew she was stood there. Marlene frowned at him.

"Sirius" She called softly. She knew he could hear her because his eyes twitched in recognition of her voice.

He had heard her but was choosing to ignore her. Instead of becoming dis-heartened she moved around and sat on the edge of his bed. She shuffled back to the gap his knees left and placed a gentle hand on his thigh.

"I'm not expecting you to talk to me. It's already clear your not. I don't expect you to respond in any other way either. James has probably been badgering you most of the night about it anyway. I just want you to know that I'm here for you Sirius. No matter what. You don't have to tell me what's going on, I just need you to know I'm here okay." She moved her hand from his thigh and placed it on his back.

She rubbed her palm up and down his back for a little while, but soon realised he still wouldn't respond. He would need to come to her or the marauders when he was ready, the silence clearly showed that at this time he wasn't. She stood to leave.

Sirius let out a shallow sigh and his eyes fluttered open. Marlene sat back on the edge of the bed. He looked exhausted, his eyes were blood shot. It was now Marlene noticed the stong repugnant smell of smoke wafting up her nose. She attempted not to scrunch up her nose in distaste, she hated the foul odour of cigarettes. Sirius usually only smoked casually, especially if drink was involved and he usually did his best to mask the smell. But now he smelt like an entire packet.

"Carmen" He croaked.

"Yeah?" Marlene asked soothingly.

"Pregnant. Mine" He croaked again.

Marlene's heart and stomach dropped. No way. Sirius was always careful, wasn't he?

"You're sure she's pregnant?" She breathed, he nodded.

"Muggle test. Saw it myself."

"Shit" She cursed.

"Tell me about it. She won't get rid of it. She can't. I'm not ready to be a dad" He choked.

Marlene hauled his slumped body into a sitting position and held him there. He gripped her tightly in her embrace and sobbed into her shoulder.

There were no words of comfort or condolence left on Marlene's tongue. No wisdom as to how to tackle this difficult situation. What sixteen year old really ever did have the right words for moments like this? Usually she just said what she would want to hear if she was in the same situation, but now she didn't know what she wanted to hear either.

"You have to tell Pomfrey and McGonagal" Logic was all she had to offer.

"No. No one can know Marls."

"Sirius if she's pregnant they have the right to know. She'll need monitoring." She tried to reason with him.

"No. Not yet. Please" He begged pulling away from her

"Okay. I'll leave it til the new year at the latest. If you haven't said anything to someone by the end of December... I will."

"Okay" He sighed.

Marlene dipped her head and shook it from side to side so her friend would not see the tears that had begun to form in her eyes.

"There's nothing more I can say I'm sorry. You get some sleep. You're gonna need it. I'm going to go back down stairs, I won't say anything to the boys. Try not to worry, we'll work this out I promise." She patted his back.

Sirius collapsed back into his pillows with a huff. Shortly his heavy breathing shifted into deep calm breaths as he drifted into slumber. Marlene left him there as quickly and quietly as possible.

"What'd he say?" James asked when she re-entered the common room. She noticed that Lily had joined the gang while she had been gone and was sat beside James.

"Nothing. He just lay there" She lied. She looked directly at Lily and she knew that to her, her eyes had betrayed her. But Lily said nothing.

Lily was good like that. She knew when and where it wasn't the place to speak. She nodded gently to say she understood, yet subtle enough for the others not to pick up on it. However Marlene knew that she would be confronted by her later about it, that much was certain.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sirius didn't attend any classes or meals for the rest of the day and it was beginning to attract the unwanted attention of his professors.

"Can someone please inform me as to where Mr Black is and why he believes that it is more important then my class?" Professor McGonagall asked at the beginning of transfiguration, the last class of the day.

"He's in bed Professor. He's not feeling that well. He's been trying to sleep it off most of yesterday and today" Marlene supplied for her, her palms sweating.

"He was looking rather peaky last I saw him. Ensure he goes to the hospital wing if things to not improve." McGonagall replied and turned away to begin the lesson.

Marlene sighed, she'd given the same lame excuse to all of the professors her and Sirius shared that day. She'd have to get Sirius back into rhythm tomorrow or he'd only continue to draw attention to himself. Marlene tried desperately to focus on transfiguration but found her mind wandering to places far away from the subject.

If Carmen had become pregnant by Sirius then it would of had to have been in the holidays before their argument. But Sirius had said that he's wanted to catch up and that hadn't been until after he'd been home. Given that logic if Carmen's baby was indeed Sirius's also then it would of had to have been conceived late June or even early July.

Then since it was late November that would make her approximately 5 months pregnant and she would most defiantly be showing some sighs of pregnancy. Things just weren't adding up in Marlene's head. Carmen couldn't possibly be pregnant or if she was the child did not belong to Sirius Black.

The only problem Marlene seemed to face in her unravelling of events was the muggle test that Sirius had supposedly seen. If the whole thing was just a deception in order to get Sirius back then how had Carmen got it to show a false positive? Or if she truely was pregnant how far along was she and who was her baby's daddy?

Marlene sighed again softly, furrowing her eye brows in concentration. She jotted down a few notes to herself on some spare parchment.

_June-July_  
_5 Months- give or take_  
_Fake test?_

She tensed when she felt someone lean over to read what was written then quickly realised it was only Lily and relaxed a little. She watched Lily intently as she skimmed over the words on the page. Lily frowned as she worked out what Marlene's little drabbles meant.

"You're muggleborn. Do you know if there's anyway to fake a muggle prgnancy test?" Marlene whispered to her friend almost inaudibly.

"They can sometimes show up as a false positive on their own. Or if a male with some sort of STD or possible testicular cancer pees on one they can test positive too. Or sometimes even someone with a bladder infection"

Marlene raised her eye brows and looked at her side ways.

"Why?"

"It's something to do with the chemical that the test looks for. But anyway it's not like we can accuse Carmen or go around all the Ravenclaws asking if they have a urine infection can we?"

"How'd you know it was Carmen?" Marlene asked defensively.

"Because you had your 'worried about Sirius Black' face on. Listen, I think I know a way to do a little digging into it. Just don't say anything to Sirius just yet. We wanna make sure your idea is right first."

"What are you going to do Evans?" She questioned.

"Oh you'll see. If my hunch is right. But I'm going to need a favour from Potter first."

"You wanna borrow my what?" James asked surprised.

"Your invisability cloak you twat." Lily huffed at him.

"Who says I have one and what the bloody hell for."

"I saw you use it to sneak out during fifth year. I have a sneaking suspicion that a bloke is cheating on one of my study buddies from Hufflepuff. I wanna attempt to catch him in the act before I tell her. So may I borrow it please?" She lied almost effortlessly. Marlene was impressed, she'd have to ask this girl for lessons.

"Fair enough. I want it back by tomorrow though" He replied pulling it from his back pocket. "Never did like cheating bastards."

"Thanks Potter. I'll have it back to you by the end of tonight. I'll see you later Marls I have sleuthing to do!" Lily said cheerfully and left the common room cheerfully.

"Is it just me or did Evans just say please to me? And why have I not had that thing bloody confiscated by now?" James asked turning to Marlene. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Probably figured there would be a time like this where she would wanna use it to her advantage."

"Yeah you're probably right. She always was clever like that"

Marlene headed up into the girls dorms to wait for Lily, it was only a few hours before the bouncy red head returned with a look of absolute glee on her face.

"I have your evidence."

"How?"

"Easy" She replied.

Lily then went on to explain how she had broken into Madam Pomfrey's private office in the hospital wing where all the school medical records were kept. She had nimbly scoured threw the records from the past few weeks until she found what she had been looking for. Carmen had gone into the wing a week before one morning claiming she was feeling "A little under the weather" and requested a pepper up potion which had been granted to her. The day before her a Ravenclaw boy by the name of Flecther Springs had been admitted because he had complaints of needing to pee frequently and it was painful.

"I checked, Pomfrey had him do a pee pot test to see if he had a urinary tract infection. And what do you know he tested positive. What's the bet the Fletcher was talking about his painful experience the night before and Carmen over heard him? She's smart, she probably could have worked it out for herself, used his pee for the test. The hospital wing bathroom is on your way past the potions cabinet. She could have slipped in and stolen some easy."

"That's really gross." Marlene shuddered disgusted. "But it makes sense. How would she have the pregnancy test already though?"

"Patience is a virtue McKinnon. I went and checked the Ravenclaws dorms too. Under the bathroom sink in Carmens dorm room? A stack of the things. Her and the others probably have them in the case of well 'emergency' I guess. Unless you have muggle heritage I bet a lot of witches or wizards wouldn't know what a muggle pregnancy test looks like." She explained

"Lily Evans. You my friend are a sleuthing genius."

"Why thank you"


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry to disappoint but this isn't a chapter, this is a note letting you all know that after this month (December 2013) updates probably won't be happening for a while. So I'm trying to update as much as I can while I'm not at work or busy with family matters (I'm only human after all).**

**For those who are curious starting in January I'll be heading off to Fiji in the Pacific Islands with GreenForce a global volunteering organisation to volunteer as a marine biology surveyor. I'll be in the Islands until late March, and I don't have or will have minimal access to internet out there and if I do it'll be really slow. But once I come back I'm sure I'll have time to update while looking for a new job.**

**If anyone wants to check out what I'm doing google "Gap force Fiji" and you should find it. Or PM me don't be shy :)**

**Thank you for being such lovely followers and loyal reviewers.**

**Ms D**

**(Lauren)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

Marlene and Lily made their way down the girls dormitory stairs towards the common room. She was ecstatic, Sirius wasn't actually a father and Carmen was just a lying deceitful little bint.

"So now that we've got the evidence we can tell Sirius. But how exactly does one approach the subject of 'you're ex is a cheating, lying scumbag and isn't actually pregnant'" Marlene asked Lily.

Lily shrugged her shoulders at her and looked up towards the boys dorm where Sirius undoubtedly was. She turned to make her way up the boys stairs.

"Wait where are you going?!" Marlene hissed panicked, sure Lily wasn't going to tell him?

"I told Potter I'd give his bloody cloak back didn't I? He wasn't in the common room so he must be up here. I can return the cloak and you can reveal our findings." She replied with ease. Marching up the stair case with Marlene hot on her heels.

Marlene suddenly felt very nervous about this whole ordeal. What if Sirius reacted badly? Especially to the fact that Lily had become involved. She sighed there was only one way to find out.

Lily walked straight into the room without knocking and nearly collided with a person on the other side of the door. It was James who was clad in nothing but a towel wrapped firmly around his waist. Remus was stood at the foot of his bed, Sirius was still laying in his and Peter was no where to be seen.

"Bloody hell!" Yelped Remus who was stood shirtless at the foot of his bed. "Merlins beard Evans I said come up whenever you like but if it's after 9pm knock for Merlins sake some of us aren't decent."

James suddenly realised the predicament he found himself in. He was virtually naked in front of two girls. He quickly jumped into his four poster and slammed its curtains violently around it muttering "shit!"

Lily went bright red with embarrassment and Marlene followed suit. Remus chuckled and pulled a PJ shirt on over his head.

"Better you than me Prongs" He smirked. "So what can I do you for Lils?"

"Actually I came to see him" She replied her thumb pointing towards James' closed bed hangings. Remus looked surprised.

"Me?" James said popping his bed out while keeping the rest of him hidden behind the red flowing hangings.

"Yes you Potter. You said you wanted the cloak back. Here it is." She threw it lamely in his direction and he stumbled to catch it through the curtain. Revealing his body once again to the pair of girls. The towel slipping slightly from his waist.

He swiftly grabbed it to stop it and shut himself in the hangings again.

"Thanks Evans. Hey Moony be a dear and pass us a pair of pants would you?" He muttered.

Remus sat on the end of his bed and laughed.

"Not a chance mate."

"Oh for pity's sake!" Lily cried strolling over to James trunk at the foot of the bed. "Do you want pants or PJ pants Potter?" She huffed.

Marlene was amazed and amused by the scene unfolding in front of her. It almost made her forget her entire reason for being here as well. She shuffled past Lily who was handing a pair of boxers and a set of Pj's to a very sheepish looking James. She made her way to Sirius's bed and sat beside him.

"Go away. I'm tired" He mumbled into his pillow.

"Not until you've heard what I've got to say about Carmen" she replied stubbornly.

"Oh would all of you just fuck off giving me your ruddy opinions on Carmen already! I know she's a bitch now fucking drop it!" He yelled angrily and putting his pillow over his head.

"Oi!" Lily barked back at him "I have not just spent three hours of sleuthing under that bloody cloak to hear you talk to her like that. We're trying to fucking help you mate so I strongly suggest you listen to her"

"You told Evans?! I thought we agreed not to say anything!" He yelled sitting up.

He was now beginning to scare her a little Marlene uprighted herself and took a few steps away from him. Remus came to stand infront of her.

"Pads calm down."

"Why should I bloody have to?! She's the one spreading my personal life all over the fucking school!"

"She is not!" Lily screeched at him. James came out of his hangings now dressed and put an arm on her shoulder. "I noticed something was wrong with her and it was something to due with you so I asked and offered to help alright? It's not her fault you decide to make decisions that sometimes aren't the best. However you'll be pleased to know that yes Carmen is a bitch who is LYING TO YOU!"  
Sirius's face contorted and he looked straight at Lily with a confused look on his face.

"She isn't pregnant" Marlene mumbled from behind Remus.

"She's not what?!" The two boys interrupted. "that's what had gotten into you. You thought she was up the duff?"

"But she is. I saw the muggle test myself" Sirius reasoned.

"You saw a test. It was false" Lily answered. She then went on to tell the group her suspicions, what she had really been using James' cloak for and how Carmen had managed to trick him.

"I think you owe someone an apology Padfoot." Remus said calmly. Sirius nodded.

"Sorry Marls. Sorry Evans." He jumped up and ran over to Marlene. He picked her up in his arms and spun her around in circle.

"I'm not a dad!" He yelled happily. He planted a kiss on her lips and set her down again, making a bee line for the bathroom.

"Man I need a shower!" He laughed. Leaving Marlene to stand there stiff as a board and wonder what the hell had just happened.


End file.
